Don't Leave Me
by YumKiwiDelicious
Summary: He knew he would be back for her. He knew he would make it up to her some day. He knew there would come a time when he was strong enough to protect her. He just had to become more powerful first. pre Kylo/Rey kinda [[Based on an idea I read on tumblr where a teenage Ben/Kylo was the one to leave Rey on Jakku]]


Kylo watched his newly named Knights of Ren depart from their meeting place, shoulders slumped low in the forms of those carrying a heavy secret. The night was frigid and he felt a chill rush through him as he mentally took stock of everything he still needed to do. The mysterious Master Snoke had been very particular in his instructions and Kylo knew that to disappoint would mean death, but more than that it would mean supreme failure. Luke Skywalker would not be slain easily and he could not allow himself to falter in this; his first true test of loyalty to the Dark Side.

His contemplation, though deep and consuming, could not distract him from a shift in the Force. A powerful, force-sensitive being was approaching and he could guess who it was though not why she would be up this late.

He waited patiently, not letting on to the fact he was aware of her presence.

"Got you!" A tiny body crashed into his from behind, skinny arms winding their way around his middle. "I got you, Ben!"

Untangling himself from her bony limbs, the boy once known as Ben Solo mock glared down at the youngest Jedi under Luke Skywalker's tutelage. She absolutely beamed back at him, whole face open and excitable as only a seven year olds could be.

"What are you doing up, Rey?" He tried to make his voice sound as serious and reprimanding as it had only moments ago, but the little girl's presence in the Force was one of such pure Light and hope that he found himself never able to be stern with her.

"Sleeping is boring," she sighed dramatically, her accented voice carrying over the heavy breeze. She was just in her sleeping robes and Kylo pulled her to his side not wanting her to catch cold. "And I wanted to see what you were doing out here."

She could sense him just as strongly as he could sense her and it impressed and worried the teenager all at once. Rey was clearly strong with the Force and with a teacher could become a powerful Jedi Knight. But given his own new found entanglement with the Dark Side, Kylo hoped he could one day convince her to join him as a Sith.

For now she was merely a fellow Padawan, the difference in their age not stopping the young thing from clinging to the 16 year old wherever he went and training alongside him whenever she got the chance. Some of the others referred to Rey as Ben's shadow though even more referred to Ben as Rey's protector. Master Skywalker called them Force Mates, not that Kylo knew what that meant. In any case he had decided early on that she and she alone would be spared from his plan.

"You shouldn't wander outside at night," he griped at her, beginning to lead them both back to the sleeping quarters. "It's dangerous and Master Skywalker would be upset."

The three-bunned girl seemed undaunted by this statement and simply hummed to herself, feigning deep thought. They reached the building of the new Jedi Academy fairly quickly since Kylo had not taken his knights out far and were finally able to escape the chill of the desert night. As they walked through the empty corridors Rey slipped her hand into Ben's and looked up at him, smile not diminished by the fact she had just recently lost one of her front teeth.

"I want to be wherever you are," she informed confidently. "I only like being with you."

Ben chuckled lowly to himself, as always, preening in the attentions of the younger Padawan who seemed to admire him above all others. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but the girl's devotion to him had played a large role in helping him build the confidence to assemble the Knights of Ren. Even with the words of Snoke to back him, he did not know if he would have had the courage to seek out followers if he had not already had one in Rey. If someone as pure and good as her could be drawn under his influence, how hard could anyone else be?

Knowing how much he had secretly depended on Rey and knowing how much he would disappoint her when the time came to revolt was like a stabbing thorn in his side. Most days he knew he would not be able to bare to see the look of betrayal that would surely come across her face as he cut down all the future Jedi that would dare to deny the power of the Dark Side. Most days he could not bare the thought of abandoning her.

"You know," he mused lowly as they approached the room that she shared with another girl of ten. "We won't be able to be together forever."

Rey's face fell like a shooting star and the stab from that alone had Kylo feeling decidedly Ben-like.

"Why not?"

A simple enough question, but the young man knew it lacked a simple enough answer. He knew he could not explain to her what time would eventually reveal; That he was not meant to fight for the side of his parents and uncle, but of his grandfather before him. He could not explain to a child why killing the people she had come to know as family in the years since her abandonment would eventually benefit them all. So instead he took to his knees and gripped her shoulders tight.

"That's just not how things are meant to be," he said lowly, dark eyes locked with her light ones, silently willing her not to cry. "But I promise," he continued, "I'll always protect you for as long as we _are_ together."

She nodded, still looking crestfallen, before she flung herself into her arms. He was used to this after literal years of it and caught her in a strong embrace, clutching her to his body as hard as he dared, knowing it may be their last.

When the door closed behind her his mask went back up and he stalked to his own chambers feeling cool and determined. The next night would see the end of the Jedi Knights and Luke Skywalker.

* * *

"LUKE!"

His enraged voice echoed throughout the halls drowning out the sounds of falling Padawans everywhere. He swung his deformed light saber in a furious arc, cutting down a young man as he attempted to attack from the side. He surveyed the mayhem that had fallen over the academy and howled internally that they should have _known_ Luke Skywalker would sense a disturbance in the Force. That he would be able to sense the attack was coming and make all plans to thwart it.

Watching as his former fellow Padawans were cut down by defectors to the Dark Side, Kylo's only comfort was that his uncle had not been fast enough. He had not been able to save his students and now the boy once known as Ben Solo stood amid the chaos as he felt each of their life forces be snuffed out by the Knights of Ren. It was a feeling unlike he'd ever known and as each bit of light was extinguished he could feel the Dark growing within him. All the while Snoke whispered in the back of his mind.

 _Yes, Kylo Ren, yes. Destroy those that would seek to keep you from your destiny._

Even further in the back of his mind, hidden away where even Snoke could not sense it, was the presence of a single withholding spec of light. A tiny flame dancing in the darkness that needed to be protected. Rey was still alive. Her presence in the Force was possibly the only thing that kept Kylo from flying into a rage as his uncle escaped into the stormy night, rain obscuring him from view too quickly to be pursued.

Kylo paced furiously on the threshold of the ruined academy, trying futilely to locate Luke using the Force. It was no use, however, and the young man knew to stay too long would be to surrender to the Rebels who were probably already on their way. With another frustrated growl he reentered the building headed straight for Rey's room. He had checked on her early in the night to ensure she was in bed where she was supposed to be before informing all his Knights that she was not to be harmed.

His followers were out in the storm now running down pupils that had managed to flee into the night, most without any way to defend themselves. They would be quick work.

When he reached Rey's room he threw the door open without preamble knowing the girl would have been woken by now from all the screams. The first thing he saw was her roommate lain in bed, still looking peacefully asleep, a light saber having been driven through her heart. This had been another one of his orders; that the Padawans that could still be considered younglings be killed humanely in their sleeps so that their last thoughts would not be ones of fear. Seeing Rey's roommate like this at least let him know the children had not suffered.

However, as his eyes scanned the rest of the room they widened when he did not see his Force Mate. He called her name, hoping he was somehow mistaken and she was simply hiding, but she did not reveal herself. Her bed was empty and as he took a staggering step into the dark room he was suddenly overwhelmed with a memory he knew was coming through his connection with the girl.

He saw how she had woken up when the first youngling was sacrificed, the young boy's sudden disappearance from the Force jolting her from sleep. He saw how she had rolled to the floor and hidden herself under her bed when one of his Knights came and silently eliminated her roommate. How, sobbing, she had crawled out through the window into the dark determined to find him.

"Oh no."

The words had barely left his lips when a terrified scream pierced the night audible even over the storm. He ran. As fast as he was able he ran from the building and into the rain, jumping over the bodies of the fallen as he chased his Force Mate's presence.

She had managed to get surprisingly far from the building and was tumbling over the sand dunes with the entirety of his following behind her. Their black cloaks billowed out behind them as they pursued the girl up the hill, one in particular leading the would-be assault.

He raced to her side, light saber already drawn as the young Jedi, face hidden by his black storm trooper helmet, lounged for the girl. Without hesitation Ben swung his light saber, not even bothering to wonder who had dared defy his orders. The former Padawan fell down in a heap. Dead.

"Ben!?"

Turning his back on his Knights, Ben gathered Rey into his arms, murmuring words of comfort into the poor thing's ear as she sobbed about how scared she had been and how she hadn't been able to find him. Ben cursed himself for not protecting her better as he felt the others gather behind him.

"You killed him!"

Kylo turned, Rey still held in his arms as one of the Knights removed her helmet. Blonde hair immediately becoming a whipped mess in the downpour, Phasma looked at him as if the biggest betrayal of the night had just been lain on her. Her icy eyes pinned Kylo to the spot demanding explanations.

"I said Reyna was not to be harmed," he hissed, not backing down to the older girl even as another took to her side, also removing his helmet. Hux looked more conflicted than angry, as if he suddenly wasn't sure about everything he had agreed to less than 24 hours ago. "Defiance deserves punishment."

The other Knights of Ren shuffled awkwardly, the flashes of lightning reflecting off their helmets and the rolls of thunder muddling their confused murmurs. Kylo kept a firm grip on Rey, not willing to set the girl down now that he knew the others had no qualms about killing her against his demand.

"She's a Jedi," Hux tries to reason, motioning towards the girl with his blaster. "She can't be allowed to survive."

"She's _mine_."

Without even raising a hand, Kylo exuded a force on the red head and the blonde that immediately had them backing down though still looking irate. The two were force-sensitive, but the Force was not strong with them. They had not even been able to locate crystals to construct light sabers when they traveled to the ice caves and so were no match for Kylo Ren.

"Still," Phasma continued, not willing to give up so easily, "She can't come with us and leaving her here would be a huge advantage for the Rebels on our whereabouts and identities."

"Let me worry about that," Kylo spat, his hair matted to his forehead in the rain. "The rest of you go. You know where to flee to join the New Order. I'll follow you once I've dealt with the girl."

Rey shivered in his hold and Ben hated that her essence was doused in fear. The defectors all looked hesitant to depart, but a glare from Kylo had Hux taking demand and ordering them all to head towards the landing pads. Phasma was the last to depart, a flash of lightning showing Kylo her cold eyes locked on Rey before she turned and left, plain black helmet forgotten in the mud.

As soon as they had all cleared the peak of the closest hill Ben set Rey down, immediately beginning to check her over physically and mentally for injury, using the Force to envelope her wholly and reveal any wounds he could not see with the naked eye.

He had almost lost her. He'd promised to protect her and he had almost lost her.

"Ben, what's going on?" She sobbed, not letting herself be disconnected to him for even a moment making the task of checking her over that much harder. "Why did they kill all the Padawans?"

"I can't explain right now, Rey," he sighed, taking her hand and starting to pull her back towards the academy. "We have to get you out of here."

Her quiet whimpers continued throughout the walk, picking up into full fledged sobs again when he tried to have her wait for him outside the building. He'd hopes to spare her the sight of so many dead bodies, but she refused to be removed from his side. And so he carried her back to her room, quickly gathering a bag of her essential belongings, all the while trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Rey's petulant voice asked as she and Kylo exited the Millennium Falcon onto the dusty surface of the planet.

Once the Knights of Ren had all fled the only ship left was his father's, left there for Ben to use when his training was complete. As he'd hustled Rey to its loading ramp he'd pondered how the ship would likely never see Han Solo again. _He_ would likely never see Han Solo again. His father and mother were now soldiers on the opposite side of his campaign and he would not be seeing them as their son again.

The dreary realization had only plagued him for as long as it took to strap a red-eyed Rey into her seat. Then his mind had turned on where he was supposed to take her. He'd realized, forlornly, that in order to protect her the best thing would be to leave her as far away from himself, the Order, and the war as possible. He'd scanned through the ship's star maps for what felt like hours before locating what seemed like the farthest flung nowhere rock in the galaxy.

Jakku, the isolated desert world out in the Western Reached, had only one major outpost located in Niima and Kylo had set course for it without hesitation. Upon landing he'd managed to disconnect Rey from his side for enough time to wander out into the desert while she rested on the ship. His wandering a had produced little to be glad about, but in a way that was a good thing. The planet was so desolate it was unlikely any ill would befall his girl in the time between now and when he eventually returned to claim her.

As the two Padawans exited the ship now hand-in-hand Rey scrunched up her nose at the site of junkboss Unkat Plutt. Ben had to agree that the Crolute was indeed hard to look at, but he was the only established being at the outpost. The young Sith had sought him out in order to agree to a trade and a trade he had received. He pushed Rey ahead of him, eyes narrowed in warning.

"This is the girl I spoke of," he informed as the creature snorted at Rey's puny form. "In return for her remaining in your care until she is of age and a small traveling pod, I will give you this ship." He motioned to the Millennium Falcon behind him and Unkat huffed.

"Is junk."

"It's the fastest ship in the galaxy."

"Girl can't work. Too small."

Pushing the Force out to his new acquaintance, Kylo made his first attempt at a Jedi mind trick. He was nervous every, scared even,that if he failed in this he would fail Rey and so out all his concentration into what he said next.

"The girl will not work for you," he insisted. "You will feed her, you will house her, you will clothe her until she is capable of doing all for herself."

As the male repeated the order with a glazed over look, Ben crouched down and took Rey by the shoulders. She looked petrified.

"Ben, what's going on?" Her tiny voice was like a balm over his wounded heart and he knew then he was making the right decision. He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. She was so young and she looked at him as if he were the center of the Galaxy. Her inherent trust made all the more difficult to leave her behind.

"I told you we can't be together forever," he said. Pulling her close he kissed her forehead softly, feeling her panic through the Force as he stood straight again, avoiding her eyes. When she reached to grab his hand Unkat caught her by the arm, holding her back as Ben turned and headed towards the tiny ship the junkboss had given him.

"Wait! Ben, don't leave me! Come back! Come back!"

Rey's cries were like electric shocks to his system as he tried to disentangle her essence from his within the was a dreadful feeling, like trying to split his own soul in twain. As if feeling her Force Mate pulling away, the young girl grew more frantic tears evident in her voice as she called out for him.

"BEN! DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE! COME BACK! DON'T GO, BEN!"

He did not turn back. He did not return to comfort her. Determined and silent he entered the tiny ship and shut the pad behind him. Her screams were muffled but not silenced and he pointedly ignored the tears tracking down his face as he moved to the pilot seat. He could feel her anguish through their ever dwindling connection. It was like her heart was breaking.

He knew he would be back for her. He knew he would make it up to her some day. He knew there would come a time when he was strong enough to protect her.

He just had to become more powerful first.


End file.
